we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
It's not a walk of shame if you run
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
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