I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
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