Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
So many bounce houses so little time
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
Randomize
