So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize