Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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