Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize