Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Randomize
