Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
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