Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
Randomize
