that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Randomize
