He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize
