remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
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