When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Randomize
