R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
I wish life had little blips of pornography
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Randomize
