I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Randomize
