i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
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