Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
