handjob tips. give me some.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
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