Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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