i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
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