Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
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