How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
