I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
