so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
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