There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
I don't want my vagina anymore.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Randomize
