every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
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