it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
I miss vodka workout Fridays
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
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