I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
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