so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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