Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
Randomize
