I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Randomize
