Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
Randomize
