I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
It’s A Miracle These 21 Promiscuous People Don’t Have STDs
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
These 27 Infuriatingly Annoying Habits Will Ruin Your Day
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person