Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
I could make wine with my vomit
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
Your topless pictures make me question reality
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
Randomize
