explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar