I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking