physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
Every concussion has its silver lining
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
Randomize
