Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
Randomize
