How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Randomize
