So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
well you can't waste a boner
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
Randomize
