Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
