This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
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