btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
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