nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
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