You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
