Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
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