can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
Be still, my beating vagina.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
