Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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