I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Randomize