I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
