did you get engaged???
I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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