You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize
