when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
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