Who did Billy Mays play for?
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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