he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
My vagina just clenched in fear
Let the clothes fall where they may.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
