i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
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