When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize
