I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
Randomize