I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
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