I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
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