i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Randomize
