he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize