I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize