Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
Randomize
