What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
