The maid of honor just puked.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Randomize