Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
