I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
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